A Womb is not a Tomb

No wedding no womb, whoever said it's a tomb? My brief take on no sex before marriage, for my Black people.

Because I have been with my wife for nearly 30 years, I can only surmise that it has to be hard out there for single folk wanting monogamous relationships. There is a fine line between satisfying needs and being a slut. Some would say total abstinence is the only way, not me, I don't claim sainthood. I would say practice discretion.

Looking at both sides, the aids epidemic, especially in the Black community, needs to be addressed. One way is to practice more abstinence. No one can be better at that than the keeper of the vagina castle, the Black woman. At the same time, more abstinence can help teach Black men to respect Black women better, over time; no cheap, fast, disposable person here. We have feelings more than lust.

In today's "now" society, slowing down to appreciate and respect our Black women is needed, necessary, and besides, it's nice. One way to teach respect is to have respect, for self and others. You actually show respect to our brothers when you say no. If you easy as 1,2,3; hello, drink at club, knocking boots by 2:30 a.m., how you gonna represent class and style? Represent Black women, and respect yourself. Help teach our men to respect you, and themselves better as well.

All I want is the coochie, I aint lookin to get married. Ladies, if you feel the same as I do, then let's get it on and quit playin. However, if you desire to find a mate for life, giving it up every Saturday night isn't going to win you many wife-material points. You gave up your sexuality for free, I suspect you do that for anyone with a drink, a car, and a motel room.

Of course that plays both ways but women are the ones suffering the most, at least at first glance. Long-term, the fellas are suffering, too. Learning to give freely to a mate over decades is absolutely priceless and cant be borrowed, bartered or bought; it has to be earned, through time and appreciation. It's called love and committment. Quick-strike artists wouldn't know a thing about that.

No solutions here, just observations. And I would tell the same things, and I have, to my children as well. Only for my daughter I would add, "act like a ho, be treated like a ho, and watch all the fellas come a callin. Funny how EASY and Freebie gets passed around so quickly along with getting a bad reputation."

To my sons, "dont disrespect your partner that's given you their sexuality, keep ya damn mouth closed." I can be more direct with my kids. It's a fine line but now that they are adults, they need to learn to make good decisions.

For my children and you I implore, please use protection; somebody has to try and stop accidental pregnancies and the spread of aids; it starts with you. 

A womb is not a tomb, nor is marriage a jail; think of it like having a condo, with benefits for life. Hell yes I'm a chauvinist pig, but I'm trying to reform. Perfection is an ideal, not my goal.

that is all

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